Dec 6 2008

1. 12-06 From my admittedly-skewed perspective it appears that an inordinate valor and (vain?) gloriousness has become affixed in the belief systems of multitudes of the general population of this space on earth where we live. A seeming obsession & compulsion to have their lives surrounded with only that which appears as clean. An offshoot of this latent puritanicalism left over from long gone bygone eras, seems to have added 'rules' demanding only the businessman's standard issue of wearing apparel and shaved face & neck (for 'success', by & large. & the poor gals, whose choices seem all over the map as to what works for them & their way of 'looking' at the world. ¶  I couldn't tell you what-all exactly went 'wrong' with my (attempted) 'upbringing', because how or why, exactly, still remains mostly a mystery, as well. 'Wrong' in the sense of what-all I expect that my elders had hoped for my life--dressed 'decently' and smoothly-shaved—I never grew to, due to my lifelong inability to exhibit the 'proper' care for how I chose to regard my clothes and shoes and the manner in which I clothed myself. I tried; but only enough times to 'learn' of this inability. An inability I know that I must have flaunted toward my critics in my nearly helpless (sense of) uselessness, when it came to really giving much of any rat's ass about how I or clothes looked or what those who would judge me by the condition and theme of my clothes would dis-approve or not.  ¶  This type of reactionary emotion-driven immaturity-of-thought/response behavior in human minds, such as have lain, at times, within the brain of he who types this, I would suppose are due (in part; or all maybe. I don't know for sure) to anti-social tendencies in my being that became formed in my youth, rejecting most all of what must be understood as outside (attempted) influence and attempted influences. & the more intense I perceive the pitch trying to foist its ugly self in my face, more I scoff, guffaw, chuckle, & giggle with a not-so- deeply buried smirk in my smile, as the more resistant I become; & start to behave (at least: in my thoughts) like a spoiled little rug rat whining “No!” and “I don't wanna,” as I turn my back &, giving a shrug & a shudder, walk away; more determined than ever to not let the hated scary them get away with this attempted bullshit upon my sacred being's body & soul.  ¶. It's  impossible to not give some of my money to hated multi-nationals, but I've got that consideration thinned down to under 10%, maybe?¶   Currently-titled Hardway, my novelist's effort has its roots in this being within my consciousness who so intensely feels maybe just too much painy sadness type sense-of-loss—& too darn often, avoidable. Avoidable, as: In my hopes and desires for ALL my brother and sister human beings to learn and grow from the learning to incorporate what might be thought of as maturer management-protocols to base their affairs and stratagem-of-thought and thought-patterns on. Too-obviously (to me), now, I see instance after instance of this less-mature state-of-being's thought-patterns and behavioral decision-making ability in people and their outward statements, appearances, and rather-dumb-seeming, at times, actions; in alarming percentages of the general population here, in our end of earth, brutally dissected & shredded by generations of abusive practices of excessive hard sell fascination with the so-called science of re-manufac-turing medicinal so-called aids that should more-accurately be described as causatives rather than cures. Add to this the chemical poisoning of our food growing lands and home enviroments; compounded by the massive amounts of media-absorption, prior to, & then: with the advent of television-viewing's criminal misappropri-ation of it to the dark side by the controllers of it & its offshoots, (that, from a realists' perspective, I know to only be in partial control—sometimes.) Of how my 'sensible', conscious grasp-of-a-sense-of-conscience thinking patterns' behavior almost has to conclude this slide away from our more natural relationships can and will inevitably result in only a total devastation of all aspects of life-in-ameriKa and bringing on rapid societal disintegration-and-anarchy into the terror-filled streets, homes, hearts, and souls of the many. When? being the only big question. And, if you accept this as a given, then: Thoughts about what preventative or preemptive actions might prove 'appropriate? or are, (or seem) implied to be motivated toward a survival.