May 28 2008

05-28-08 Thanks to the resolutions to understandings that had still eluded me prior to Zietgiest, I find myself even smugger than I already was about my distrust of 'the system.' It is comforting to feel that smugness envelop me as I observe the progression of outer-world events. Though it is difficult to keep myself from becoming angry about what's goin' on, the surity of the inevitability of negative emotional wallowing's overall negative impact and its resulting poorer outcomes disallows me letting myself feel anger and angry. That being said (written), stuff is really hitting the fan, now, aint it? What is of major concern, if that's what I feel when I think of the masses' sufferings, both yesterday, today, and probably tomorrow, is how seriously compromised and otherwise stultified too large of a cross-section of our society's peoples seem to be in such a fog as to not be able to understand what is being perpetrated upon them by the system's exploitive nature; and of the rather too painfully obvious fate awaiting just too very many of our peers. Peers? Well, in a general way. Of course, each of us is (potentially) unique enough to be able to claim not everyone is our peer; that is to say (write) not our brother or sister humane-desiring human, with the overarching overall all-encompassing overview of the universality of the universal picture of awesome forces at work upon ev-ry one of all the teeniest tiniest little bits and pieces of all of every-thing and everybody, and of how that awesome collection of forces-at-work seem to have a philosophical bent toward the encouragement of growth; expansion in (hopefully) the more positve-seeming of realms. All this bloodthirstiness going on around the world is most certainly just (?) an abberation, a mutation toward the wrong-headedness of the negatives, pretty much covered by a mention of the seven deadly sins, plus awfully shameful violations of Golden Rule. But now I can receive the world's news with a smirk of smugly-held opinion that this tragedy can only be taken in in comedic terms, if I am to remain Sane(?). I mean: Highway robbery isn't the least bit funny, but what is a poorboy to do? This poorboy chuckles to him self at the sheer audacity of some of the stuff I see going down; the sheer outrageous audacity of, most definitely a lunatic fringe, albeit the wealthiest of the wealthy are the ones gone all goo-gah over you-know-what. I chuckle to my smug little self, 'Them boys has sure got gall; no matter how misdirected it all too often seems. I had a swelled head once, so I can kinda empathize with the fat cats' point-of-view type perspectives and general egomaniacality and sociopathic operational methodoligies . . . empathize, while not in the least condoning what they are up to and how they are chosing to go about their nefarious dirty works. Kharma may not catch up with them in this lifetime, but I can feel confident that what goes around quite surely does come right on  around, eventually: They'll get theirs; one way or another the hammer will fall. The sad part about this is that we all is getting hammered before the fact of their finally reaping their just deserts and final 'reward.' I understand the motivating forces at work behind the hard push for more, ever more. I sense its wrongness-of-attitudenal focus; and this does (or at least should anyway) allow some forgiveness. But of course, a lot of what is being perpetrated by you know who is unforgivable--or, at least, isn't and won't be let slide very easily, no matter how hard I try. No matter how excrutiatingly-intensely I would wish and hope that I could. Because: If I could completely forgive everything that 'bothers' my thinker, then it would have a nicer day—or at least ought to have improved potential chances for having a nicer, pleasanter day (and night, thank you very much.) I have been actively working to balance up my own Kharma bank account toward anything over neutral that I may yet be able to pull off, since about 1970 or thereabouts; with many setbacks along the rock-strewn pathways of my life since first realizing that I was rather quite overdrawn in my Kharma account about 1970. My thinking then was that I had spent the first half of my life putting negative, unloving dollars into that account, and, that if I managed to stay pretty much mostly more on the 'straight and narrow' for the second half of my life: maybe I could remedy that rather discouraging realization I had, way back then. That second half has now come and gone, plus eight years, and I do feel that I have narrowed the gap significantly and am now close enough to that goal to wallow in the glory of its granted state-of-grace. It's all uphill from here for me—while all seemingly pretty much downhill for the rest of (unelightened) humankind—except for us kind of hotter shots, when it comes to brainy power. We still have an excellent chance for achieving some of them fabled happinesses of the pursuit-of-happiness guarantee.